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Raquel's Testimony by Raquel Lynn King
I was raped from the ages of 12-16 years old, by a Puerto Rican man who was 31 years old. He had a key to get in our home which my parents entrusted to him in case of emergencies only! Each time he raped me he held me down with a knife to my throat, threatening me he will kill me if I tell anyone.
At age 16, I realize my monthly cycle was late. Thinking the worst, but not being sure, I went to a corner store and stole a pregnancy test after school. The next morning, I found out that the worst did happen; I was pregnant with this man's baby. I then went to my landlord's home - a pastor and his wife. I wanted to abort this baby so they helped me. I didn't think about it, I just knew I didn't want this man's baby!
When he found out he never raped me again. Another girl did turn him in for raping her, and he served 7 years in jail and I did end up filing a police report. It was too late for me to do anything else! The officer that took my report called me in 1998 to let me know he served his time and has been released.
Eventually, I met a WONDERFUL man. He showed me that all men are not monsters. During the four months we dated I told him about the rape but not about the abortion. I just wasn't ready. We were married in 1993. At that time my abortion was in my closet and I made the decision that it wasn't coming out! Going on with life, God gave me 2 more chances to be a mom with our daughter and son. I knew I didn't deserve what had been done to me but I also didn't think I deserve to be a mom after the death of my first baby.
Over time I received information about an Acts of Grace Leaders Training Class that was coming to a spring Conference I would be attending. I wanted to be a part of the training to help women but I also wanted to keep my abortion a secret. God had much bigger plans than I had! I needed to take the Bible Study before I could help other women. The first evening of the training I went home in tears for keeping this to myself and from my husband for way too long. I told my husband I needed to talk to him and spilled out EVERTHING. He agreed that I needed this Bible Study!
During the Bible Study God gave me a vision of my baby! It's A GIRL!! Her name is Casey Avery King, my husband gave her his last name because he said "that's my baby too". A very sweet friend of mine drew a picture of her; which I have it in my home office. She loves purple! She has her father's skin color. She has my hazel eyes and my nose. The man that performed the abortion said it's nothing, SHE is everything!!
Since taking the post-abortion Bible Study, I have also taken the "Caught in the Act of Grace Bible Study for Women" which is a sexual abuse Bible Study. I wrote the man who raped me a letter, not mailing it of course, starting with all of my anger and bitterness I had towards him and ending in a forgive you letter, for what he has done. Now when I pray, I pray for him as I would pray for my pastor. I have absolutely NO anger towards him!
Since the bible studies, my husband and I have the best relationship! I was planning on taking the abortion to my grave, but God stepped in and showed me His plans! I have been Forgiven & Set free!!
A Special Thank you to Darla Weaver:
THANK YOU for having the courage to open up and sharing your testimony, so other ladies can receive healing and closer on our pasts.
Hey Darla! I just wanted to let you know I had my little girl! I couldn't be anymore in love. She was born May 26. I just was thinking that I could never love her the way I do if you hadn't helped me get past my past. And I thank you for that. I also know if I hadn't been through that she wouldn't be here. I just wanted to let you know!
While I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse it no longer is what defines me.
I was sexually abused from the ages of 9 – 16 by my father and my Dad's second wife. This led to being sexually active as a teenager, pregnancy, and drug and alcohol abuse. I always tried to cover up the way I was with things. I looked successful to the outside world but inside I was slowly crashing. I stopped communicating and withdrew inward. This reached such a deep level that for a few months I did not even speak to my wife and child. They wrote me letters to try and communicate.
The “Caught in the Act of Grace” Bible Study for men has changed my life completely. It has given me the tools to understand what the abuse did to me and how I reacted to it. I now value people and relationships more than anything else. People are Gods greatest treasure and we need to value people in the same way. The study has made me a better person. I am more confident, I see my value in Gods kingdom and to others in my life. God does not make junk and it has been proven to me.
I now try to be transparent about everything and communicate my feelings. I can now talk about things instead hiding things under the rug. I was not able to feel love and trust for so long I had forgotten what those things were. This single change has had the largest effect on my family. A friend of mine asked my son what he saw as the biggest change in me, He responded that the yelling had stopped. My relationship with my wife is better than it has been for the 29 years we have been together.
How God values us is how we should value each other. After finishing the Bible study, I learned to forgive unconditionally and love unconditionally. I can see the good and love in my family now. It feels good to be able to communicate and be open about my life, no more hiding – no more suppressed feelings. I have my family and friends whom I enjoy being around.
This bible study took me from the deepest depths hidden for years to the heights of revelation and love. I started to doubt and question my faith and then all of a sudden God gave me the peace and love I had been missing. When I began opening up, it all came together and I really felt great about the new me. I still battle some of the issues on a daily basis, but now have the tools to deal with everyday situations in life. Nobody is perfect but God helps me through the struggles.
I am now defining myself thru Gods eyes.